A Personal Confession

Matthew 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

I still remember when I was a young preacher first feeling the pangs of guilt as I preached against a sin of which I was personally guilty. At that time I would have never let my guilt be known. As the years have passed and I have learned more of both God’s nature and my own sinful nature, I have come to realize that the Christian struggle with sin is deep, personal, and ever present. Preacher or not, we all struggle. In one of his most transparent chapters in the Bible the Apostle Paul confessed, “Oh wretched man that I am!” Romans 7:24

Some might say a preacher should never be so transparent. I say, I would not trust a preacher who only preaches against the sins of others, and claims none as his own. He’ll lie about other things too.

In Matthew 5, 6, 7 Jesus exposed the root and heart of sin. Sin comes from inside us, and is only truly understood when compared to the perfections of God. I wish doing away with sin was as simple as changing cloths… but sadly it is rooted too deep in our nature.

I confess... a sin Jesus exposed in the light of this text seems tightly anchored in my nature, and perhaps is my greatest personal struggle. It is so like Jesus to love His enemies… and so unlike me to love mine... but, oh how I want to love them! My want magnifies my failure.

It seems almost right at times to want to wrench vengeance from God’s hands. Yet… I know if Christ Jesus had felt the same then I, His former enemy, would never have become His friend. Oh wretched man that I am... Lord, please make me more like You!


  1. I recipricate the plea, "Lord, please make me more like you"...oh wretched man that I am...beaten up and well spent in this battle with flesh. Help us all to see other as Jesus did, not as enemies, but as lost sheep in need of a shepherd.
    Very good (accurate) thoughts today, Larry.

  2. Loving my enemies is something that I may never be able to overcome, Like you I have tried to,but alas I fear that true forgiveness is not within me... I would for the sake of my own peace and sanctity of mind. My desire would be to have no enemies, only friends... I'd rather not hate,for sure, but my mind and heart seem to not meet on the same level... The trouble is that hate can come out an very unexpected times, usually when I'm most unprepared... I think it's that way for lots of us... I think that satin reveals certain circumstances that he knows will trigger hatred... And only when we are most vulnerable and most unprepared... Certainly he knows when the time is right... Yes the guilt of a Christian is then magnified... at least it is for me... My strength fails me and I am guilty all the more... I've certainly wanted vengance many times, but I am restrained of Jesus that heals all wounds... The scars from the battle remain sore, but there is healing of the heart... It's our flesh that remains unhealed...
    Thanks Larry,for putting such a light on our lives... It's good to be convicted, it shows us a clear view of our Lord and Savior Jesus... Pat Murray



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