Surrender for Joy By Betsy

I had one of those days yesterday. It started at 4:45 a.m. and didn't end until 9:00 p.m. There was a mile long list of things to do and it seemed that everything was resisting my ability to complete the list. The kids fought all day long, I don't have enough shelving for all my storage boxes, the vacuum is going out on me, my hair dryer is smoking... and that was just part of it! Collin dumped out a bottle of canola oil on my kitchen floor and a bottle of soap on my living room floor. He also unfolded a bunch of folded laundry. Neither of the kids wanted to help put away all their toys. The parsnips kept burning while I was frying them. Cory didn't want to nap. Michael got home and told me that he had to work on a report for the church finance meeting the next day (which means I wouldn't get a reprieve from dealing with the kids AND the household stuff).

By 4:45 p.m. I was ready to give up! I was struggling to keep my temper in check and found it difficult to resist crawling into bed until morning. My day was far from over... I still had several things on the to do list and knew that it would take several more hours to finish it all.

I was less than joyful. And about the time I was finished cooking supper... and was giving myself a grand pity party... I realized that my day was so terrible because I let it be so terrible. Getting in my own way of joy. Again. A whole day wasted in a bad mood because of my poor attitude.

So, instead of letting the kids eat by themselves while I scrambled to get the kitchen clean and finish up that to do list, I sat down, ate my colcannon shepherd's pie and thought about how to get my joy back. And I remembered one of the first verses that I memorized as a child:

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not into thine own understanding.

I didn't surrender any of these problems to the Lord and, so, I didn't trust Him. I was trying, and failing, to do everything on my own. There's no room for joy in my heart when my heart won't surrender its problems to Him. I have to trust Him to work everything out. Basically, I have to mind my own business. It's His business to work out finances to buy a new vacuum. He knows we don't have the extra money right now but, if He wants us to buy one, He'll send us a way. My heart cannot be light and joyful if I refuse to trust Him with my problems.

You might be saying that God has bigger problems to deal with... my broken down vacuum cleaner isn't exactly high priority. To that I say-- are any of our problems big to God? The same God can be trusted to deal with the safety of my family AND my financial ability to purchase household items. He knows the number of hairs on my head. He knows the number of babies in NICU. Are the hairs on my head more important than the babies? Nope. But He still knows them all.

My kids might have fought all day, but I have to trust that the Lord will help them remember that it's better to be kind to one another than it is to constantly fight one another. My vacuum cleaner might die on me this week, but He knows we need clean carpet! The parsnips might burn while I'm trying to clean up canola oil, but there's really nothing I can do about that. I'll just trust Him with our supper and do the best I can (which sometimes means starting all over again).

After I reasoned through my day's problems and remembered that they are, after all, small trees in a giant forest, I was able to get started on my list again... this time with a MUCH better attitude! When the list-doing got interrupted I worked through it, gave it to the Lord and got back to my list. It took a while, but everything got checked off the list and I joyfully went to bed.

My evening turned out to be much more peaceful... and more joyful... than my day! Betsy

Teaching Children To Give By Betsy Barnes

Giving. It's a trait we all hope our children develop. But, like most things, we have to teach this trait to them. Many families participate in the Angel Trees at Christmastime or backpack drives at the start of the school year. These are tangible, simple ways for our children to learn the joy of giving to others. Participating in these programs with our children on a regular basis helps them see, understand and learn to give to others.

Well, I have another program that you and your kids can participate in. Our church (Santa Fe Baptist Church) has a children's home in Mexico City. Most of the kids in the home come directly off the streets or are pulled out of abusive homes. The kids enter the home with nothing. Most of the little girls have never owned a baby doll and most of the little boys have never owned a toy car. The home provides warm beds, delicious meals, education and love. But they struggle to meet the day to day necessities, so frivolous things like stuffed animals and baby dolls usually cannot be bought. We, however, try to remedy that.

Each year we take a trip to the home and have a week of fun with the kids. We take them to a safari park, playground park and have a huge fiesta for them. At the fiesta they get a bag of gifts that are bought just for them. It's a fun week for everyone. But we need help getting gifts for each child (currently, there are 48 kids in the home).

If this sounds like something you'd like to do, email me (lebarnes84@gmail.com) and I can send you a list of toys that we need. My little girl loves to pick things out for the little girls in the children's home. She actually talks about the kids all the time (she even has pictures of them in her room). This has been the best way for us to teach her how important and rewarding giving can be.

You can also sponsor a child for the entire week (all the entrance fees and gifts cost $83 per child). If this is something you're interested in doing, you can visit the home's website at: www.agchmx.org. Click on "Give a Smile" to read about the kids and the week that we spend with them. There's also a gallery with photos of each child who hasn't been sponsored with a paypal donate button.

As always, we understand that not everyone can afford to give. But everyone can afford to pray! Please pray that the home will have sufficient funds to provide daily needs and pray that we can find enough donors to make sure every child gets a great Fiesta Week! Since each child has a picture on the website gallery you can go online and pray for each child by name. Many are emotionally and physically hurt. They need your prayers. - Betsy

When Cometh Joy by Betsy

Sometimes it seems like joy is just out of our reach. Our souls yearn for it and grasp for it but we don't quite reach it. Maybe you're like me and allow the inability to reach joy bring you even further away from obtaining it... knowing that we've no right not to rejoice in what God has given us... knowing that our despondency isn't the attitude that God wants for us. It makes the joyless times even harder for me to bear. I suppose it's guilt. Guilt over the inability to find joy.

I don't want to rationalize sin or make excuses for our human nature, but, as imperfect creatures, we all face times of despondency. I don't think there's any avoiding it. Sooner or later we'll enter into periods of winter where joy seems to be more of a myth than a reality. Where we look back on past springs and wonder how we felt such joy and jubilation... did we really experience it? Or were we simply naive enough to believe that our life could be filled with such joy?

To that I confidently say that our life can be filled with joy... it can, in fact, overflow with joy. And when we're in the midst of our winter we can positively know that joy will come again, although it's difficult to believe. God has not and will not forget us.

You might say, "Alright, girlie... you're, what? all of 26? What can you possibly have experienced to know this? What winter could you possibly have weathered to know such a thing to be true?" You're right. I haven't experienced half of what others have experienced. However, without going into detail, I have had a few personal, life shaking winters. But someone can always argue that theirs were harsher, colder winters than mine and, therefore, I can't promise that spring will return for them. So, I'll not waste time in describing my winters. Instead, I give you Psalm 30 (I refuse to paraphrase it. It's a beautiful Psalm and should be read word for word.):

1 I will extol thee, O LORD; for thou hast lifted me up, and hast not made my foes to rejoice over me. 2 O LORD my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me. 3 O LORD, thou hast brought up my soul from the grave: thou hast kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit. 4 Sing unto the LORD, O ye saints of his, and give thanks at the remembrance of his holiness. 5 For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. 6 And in my prosperity I said, I shall never be moved. 7 LORD, by thy favour thou hast made my mountain to stand strong: thou didst hide thy face, and I was troubled. 8 I cried to thee, O LORD; and unto the LORD I made supplication. 9 What profit is there in my blood, when I go down to the pit? Shall the dust praise thee? shall it declare thy truth? 10 Hear, O LORD, and have mercy upon me: LORD, be thou my helper. 11 Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness; 12 To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks unto thee for ever.

This chapter promises the coming spring. He cried to God... God listened and healed! God brought his soul from the grave and kept him from the pit! He was deep in despair, but God spared him from the very bottom. Verse 5 is my favorite... weeping endures for the night but joy cometh in the morning! Joy will come!

The winter described in this chapter was harsh. David proudly declared that he couldn't be moved but, through this particular winter, he learned that his mountain was only held fast because of the Lord. He was troubled and God hid His face. I don't doubt for a second that he felt alone and abandoned... doubtful that joy would return. But God saw him through the night and David found that, yes! joy does come in the morning! He cried out to God and God became his helper. Night does not last forever... morning will come. Spring will come. And with it, joy.

There's no need to listen to my paltry words of spring and the return of joy... listen to the words in Psalm. Hold tight to these promises during your winter... when it seems that hope is gone and joy is a myth. Grab onto them and don't let go! God will turn your mourning into dancing and your sackcloth into gladness! Joy will come in the morning! And that, friends, is joy #100! Betsy

Won't Get Me Down By Betsy Barnes

I was going to blog on something completely different tonight. Since I didn't have internet at the house until around 5pm today I've spent the last couple of days typing out a post on patience. (Impatient for internet and because I need to write, even though I didn't have the blog for an outlet. I had to write something somewhere!) It'll be on here eventually... but my heart isn't in it right now.

A better topic for my current mood is found in 2 Corinthians. It's actually found all over the Bible, but I love some of the verses in 2 Corinthians 4:1-18. I'll recap the chapter for you so we can get to those favorite verses-although I encourage everyone to read it.

Paul wrote to the church at Corinth and in chapter 4 he addressed certain aspects of ministry. We (Christians) have been given mercy and we have had the light of God shined on us. The message that we have for others is God's message. It is not our own to use for our glory. Only for His glory. And not everyone will understand this message because the 'god of this world' has blinded them so that the light of the gospel cannot shine down on them.

Then we get to verses 8-10. It's beautifully written and I'll not spoil it with a recap:

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

I was discouraged tonight by something trite. When I turned to the Bible for some verses on discouragement this is what I found. How senseless and self-absorbed am I to allow so small of a thing to get me down! Here is Paul, a man who was physically persecuted for spreading God's message, writing to a church who also faced persecution, proclaiming that though we are troubled, and perplexed, and persecuted, and cast down we can never be distressed, despaired, forsaken, or destroyed.

While Christians in America do not face what these early Christians faced, these verses can still be used as a light for our world-weary souls. We were promised a difficult road. But we were also promised a friend to hold us tight, guide our paths and console our broken spirits. He has consoled mine tonight.

And I believe that makes joy number 77! He loves me, oh how he loves me! -- Betsy

Joyfully Patient By Betsy Barnes

My daughter, Betsy, a pastor's wife and mother of three, enjoys blogging for close friends and family. Her writing is insightful and uplifting, so, with her permission, I will publish her posts from time to time. You can read them all under Betsy Barnes on the left side of this page.

Patient. According to Webster it means not easily made angry; calm; not hasty. Being patient or having patience means the quality of enduring with calmness; quiet perseverance.

Wow.

Patience is not one of my virtues. I try to be patient. Sometimes. Not nearly as often as I should, though. Impatience grips its tentacles around my chest and seems to pull at the very heart of me. This is why I never tarried long with my lessons in sewing. Or embroidering. Or art of any kind. I'd rather be doing countless other things. Like reading. But even in reading, a seemingly harmless and maybe even beneficial hobby, I'm impatient. Just ask my husband or my mom. They'll tell you how I stay up too late finishing a book. As a kid it was pretty harmless as my books were short and I had very few important responsibilities to handle the next day. But now my books are often 400-500 pages long and I have 3 very important responsibilities to handle every day. They are early birds, so sleeping late isn't an option!

My impatience is carried into all aspects of my life. Moving into a new house (closing day couldn't come fast enough), getting new shelves built and put up, pictures hung, paint on the walls (I haven't even unpacked all of the boxes yet!), waiting for my kids to decide what snack they want (does it really take 10 minutes to decide between pudding and apples?). When I feel the tentacles reach for my chest I try to take deep breaths and remind myself not to use the sharp side of my tongue when I speak. I'm embarrassed to admit that the deep breathing doesn't always work-- I'm especially embarrassed when I remember this:

Proverbs 14:29 He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly.

There's that word 'hasty' again. Anytime I hear hasty I think of Ents from the Lord of the Rings (yes, I'm a LOTR geek). Those of you who are not lucky enough to have read the novels or to have seen the movies might not know what the Ents are. They are talking trees. But they talk very slowly and make decisions very slowly. I don't mean they talk slowly as in with a Texas drawl... I can appreciate a good, drawn out howdy. I mean that it takes them a long time to say anything. It took them several hours to simply greet each other with a proper Ent “Good mornin', y'all”. The young hobbits that found them were, as the Ent shepherd put it, much too hasty. The hobbits didn't understand the Ents' ways and begged for important decisions and actions to be made immediately. But the Ents understood the importance of being diligent and not doing anything until they had vetted every aspect of the issue. They did eventually enter the war against Sauran and bring down Saruman's tower, but it was not done until they agreed that there was a need to do so. I believe it took them 3 days to make this decision while it took the hobbits mere seconds to decide they were going on the “mission... quest... thing”. They didn't even know what they would be doing, where they were going or for what cause they would be fighting. The war was dangerous but they never stopped to think about the consequences.

Perhaps spending an entire morning to say hello is a bit much, but JRR Tolkien (the author) was making the same point as the author of Proverbs... don't be hasty. What exactly is the problem with being hasty? Well, the Hebrew word for folly is anoia and means 'want of understanding'. So those of us who tend to be impatient, those of us who are hasty, are actually exalting, or praising, 'want of understanding'. The bottom line: We praise foolishness.

Looking at it in that light makes me completely feel the abundance of foolishness that I daily exhibit. We are often warned about what happens when we pray for patience. So the next time I feel impatience grabbing at me, I'll not pray for patience. Instead, I'll pray that God will help me to no longer exalt folly. I'll pray that I will have joy in remaining calm and patient.

I have a long road ahead of me.

Trouble Finding Joy?

My daughter, Betsy, a pastor's wife and mother of three, enjoys blogging for close friends and family. Her writing is insightful and uplifting, so I asked her if I could post some of her material. She agreed, so here is the second post. You can read the first one here.

As I mentioned before, the whole point of my Year of Joy is to help me re-focus on what's truly important. It helps keep the 'envies' at bay. It also helps me when I get bogged down in the unimportant disappointments in life. I'm emphasizing unimportant here.... I'm talking about the trifling, inconsequential disappointments. The ones that don't really matter. There are disappointments that matter. The big ones that make huge impacts on our lives. But that's not what I mean. I mean something like... getting stuck in traffic. Or having to do laundry when it's piled to the ceiling. Or burning supper. Or having your closing date changed.

Ya, that last one really got me down last week. I was prepared for Wednesday night to be our last night in this house. Everything except what we would need until Thursday was packed away. And I was upset to find out that we wouldn't be closing until the following week. But, really, how whiny is that?? We are fortunate enough to have just built a new house and I'm letting something so trifling effect my outlook and mood.

And then another 'go to' verse jumped into my mind:

Proverbs 15:13 A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.

So I told myself to snap out of it already!! It's time to make my heart merry! We'll move... eventually. We'll deal with having just a few pairs of shoes and clothes and dishes out... I wasn't going to unpack anything, so we'd figure out a way to make do for another week. Big deal! And then I started to think of all the joyful things we could accomplish between that 'ugghhh' moment and the day we'd move. I came up with several things to do that would bring me (and the family) joy. After a few minutes I felt much better about the situation. And a bit ashamed of how I let inconsequential bad news get in my way of joy. There goes another conviction from God. Just like the 'evil of envy' conviction runs through my mind (as I mentioned here), not letting little, negative happenings get me down is another conviction that runs through my mind. And, as before, I believe it's given to me by God. And, as before, I thank Him for it. I don't want my life to be ruled by envy or negativity.

Not only would this lack of merry-ness affect me, but it would also affect anyone around me. That's rather unacceptable considering that I'm around my children almost 24/7. The word 'countenance' in this verse specifically refers to how I'm perceived on the outside. The Hebrew word (paniym) is most often translated as before, face and presence. So, according to this verse, my outward presence is made cheerful by a merry heart. And how can my heart be merry when I'm allowing silly, paltry events become significant and worth my worry? It can't. And my children will see this. And learn from this.

Lord, help make my heart merry.... it can't be done without You.

Joyfully Content

My daughter, Betsy, a pastor's wife and mother of three, enjoys blogging for close friends and family. Her writing is insightful and uplifting, so I asked her if I could post some of her material. She agreed, so here is the first post.


Proverbs 14:30 A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.

A while back my Dad went through Proverbs during the Wednesday night service at church. Since I teach the youth class on Wednesday nights I was rarely able to hear any of it. But I often thought back on the few times that I did have the fortune of sitting in on these studies. I decided that since I couldn't always be there for the adult service that I would go through Proverbs myself. It is much slower doing it myself since I don't have the Bible experience of my Dad, but it has been a good challenge. 

Proverbs 14:30 hit a chord with me and I think about it often. It's one of my 'go to' verses... along with Proverbs 17:22, Zephaniah 3:17, Romans 8:38-39 and a few others. It fits in well with where I find joy, so I thought I'd blog about it in hopes of helping y'all gain a better understanding of why I've been blogging on joy.

Being an adult means a lot of different things beyond simply turning of age. I am acquainted with many people who fit the technical definition of adult but who are rather childish. Part of truly being an adult is coming to a place of contentment. Don't confuse contentment with complacency. I don't mean that you ought be so smug to believe you should no longer strive to better yourself, your family or your situation. I simply mean to be fulfilled with what you have and the situation you are in. The situation in which God has placed you. And then thank that God for the blessings He brings your way.

We all have those friends and co-workers who are never happy with what they have. They are forever looking at what they could have or what they want to have. Or what someone else has. And wonder why they don't get whatever so and so has. It can be painful to listen to constant complaint of this sort.

My kids are like this. They see a child playing with a toy and declare that they, themselves, MUST have the same toy. Explaining to them why they can't have every toy that every other child has can be a challenge. But they are children, after all, and don't have the life experience and know how to understand budgets and bills, etc. Nora is just now grasping the concept of 'too expensive'. 

But, as adults, we should be beyond these sorts of complaints. We have what we have and we don't have what we don't have. Get over it. Sounds rather harsh, I guess.

Part of my desire to look for joy this year stems from the notion of contentment. God convicts each of us differently and this is one thing He has continued to convict me with. I seem to have this theme often running through my mind--  being content with my own side and not desirous of the proverbial greener side. I am convinced that it continuously runs through my mind because God put it there*. When I begin to wish that I had this or that (my this or that presently being the Nook color) to the extreme of jealousy, thoughts of being content with what I've been given pop into my head. They pop into my head so quickly that I am instantly ashamed of my non-contentment and try to remind myself of what I have been blessed with. I may not have a Nook color but I do have this handy netbook. And I thank God for the monetary blessings of being able to have afforded it. :) And, while I'd rather have bought a Ford Flex than a minivan, I'm truly grateful for this minivan and the kind God who allowed an intervention so that we could afford it. 

Thank you, God, for this conviction. Going through life believing that I don't have what I ought to have would be the very opposite of a joyful life. It would be a most miserable life to live.

So, I do my utmost to joyfully remember what we have been given. And joyfully congratulate those who might have been given something more. God blesses us each in different, unique ways after all. 

*I do not mean to say that God is speaking to me directly... I believe it's a conviction He laid on my mind. Only God can do that. Only He can speak without really speaking. I only add this part about convictions so that no one thinks that I think that I am so good a person as to constantly remind myself to be content. No, that is not the case at all. It has nothing to do with me. Only by His gracious conviction am I am able to avoid a discontented life and find joy in what I have been given. Only by His grace am I allowed to quickly pull myself out of a despondent 'wish I had that' mood and remember my own blessings.

That was a lot longer than I intended it to be! But I shouldn't be too surprised... I am the daughter of a Baptist preacher, after all!