Thursday

Fat Causing Virus Discovered!

A team of scientists in Louisiana have found a virus that may contribute to obesity. In other times a virus which caused its host to gain fat might be appreciated… but today the little critter is to be shunned.

Personally I’m excited they finally found an excuse for my weight struggles other than my over-eating and under-exercising… wooo whooo! My devilish side has even coveted a syringe filled with the virus so I could stick a few smug, bone skinny people I know… You know the ones... they eat more than I eat, with a few candy bars thrown in, and never gain a pound. Oh wretched man that I am!

Well… lets get the skinny on this little fat causing virus. It seems the virus enters a fat cell with the ability to use the cell's DNA machinery to replicate itself and more fat cells. So the virus can contribute to fat reproduction beyond what the body would normally produce.

This virus, adenovirus 36, is kin to the common cold virus and, it is believed, is contagious. It seems, from initial studies, that people who have a weight problem are far more likely to host adenovirus-36. Sadly... they will cure this when they cure the common cold. Don’t hold your breath. (To my weight struggling friends: next time you run into a skinny preacher with the last name of Locke, make sure you accidentally cough on him.)

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